Meth For Life

Having trouble getting my prescription filled. Fuckers at the insurance want you to jump through hoops like a trained monkey. Having ADHD this is not easy for me to attack without my Meth. Luckily the wife wants me to be a meth addict so she worked it out for me. I just have to make a phone call now.

Took one of the kids meth today. Needed it to put a dog fence up. I am planning on putting an electric fence up. Outer fence would be electric with like 5 inches gap then inner plain fence. Not totally sure about the electric yet... but thinking about it... I mean who can resist a solar powered electric animal zapper! Bwahahahaha!

Meth makes me nicer to people. I think they should have this warning on the side of the bottle. Not sure how I feel about it.

I find my opinions about drugs and drug use totally changing as I become a meth head. I think the war on drugs is a fucking joke. If people want to feel good let them. Legalize everything. Bring the prices down so people do not need to steal, rape, and murder for their drugs. Have some sort of free counseling program with the focus of

1. Teach people to get along without drugs if they do not need them for a specific reason. Not talking about preaching to stop.. Just showing different coping mechanisms and counseling options.
2. Show people how to use these illicit drugs in such a way that they do not build up tolerances and can keep feeling good on low doses.
3. Diagnose real issues related to the why of people taking these drugs. Some people just want to have fun. Some people need to deal with real things like ADHD. Some people have childhood issues or other things. Help people understand why they need the drugs without being judgmental.

Part two will get people to go. :). Who does not want to learn to use better. I think it could work. Some people would get off drugs. Drug companies would make some money. The prices would go down. The government would make tax money. The crime rate would drop. Our prisons would empty. Shit Waffles for President.

I realized today why I hate Home Depot. Meth is GREAT for mind blowing revelations. Here it is. I am better than all of you at everything. I can make love to your girlfriend better than you ever have, I can play poker in ways you can not even dream of, I program computers better than anyone. I am a fucking monster who is way better than you at EVERYTHING. I then go into Home Depot and do not know the fucking right side of the goddamn hammer to use. In essence I become you. I hate you. I do not want to be you. Fuck you all. This is why I hate Home Depot.

Sparky Tines

Had a nice night with Osu and his lovely wife. Tragedy shot call involved too. Had fun. Met some people on the ride home. Became the conductor of the train. Announcing every stop and making commentary. Big round of applause when I exited the train.. not sure if it was for my entertainment or the fact that I finally left.Was fun either way.

Update

Been a little down in the dumps this month. Part of my roller-coaster existence.

It did not help that I needed to get a new car this month. I had to settle for a 97 Lexus ES-300 complete with stylin' tape deck.

For you children out there who do not know what a tape deck is... once upon a time, instead of downloading music into your iPhone you had to put these plastic devices with plastic inside them into your musical player. The musical player was about 20 times heavier than the iPhone. If you were lucky and the musical player gods were on your side they would not eat your tape and you would not spend the next hour trying to pick the plastic out of your musical device. Just think of it like VooDoo magic, this is how us old people see your iPhones.

I feel kind of like a snobby asshole saying I "Only could get a 97 Lexus ES-300". In one way I think it is kind of good to see how the less fortunate people live. Of course Tony probably thinks I am rich. I think I should sleep in the park tonight to see how the REALLY unfortunate people live. Is bug spray cheating?

I also have been approved for meth consumption. I begin tonight or tomorrow on my journey to being seriously fucked up all the time. I have high hopes for this state.

I did find it funny the process used to get approved for the drugs. You basically go to a shrink. Fill out a 1 page document with no control questions. It is basically just check here if you want drugs. You then take home another 1 page document and have to tell some examples of your childhood where you showed symptoms. I assume you could easily lie. You then get drugs. I was so silly not believing in psychiatry.

Meth Saturday

Fuck Mrs. Bush, THIS is your brain on Drugs!

I love this stuff so much. I apologize to Carmen for thinking "WTF", this is such good stuff.

Since I last left you I asked my Doctor (the ones with official degrees from da man) if she thought that Adderral would be a good option for me. She said maybe.. and then she gave me 3 pages of tests. A quick office one where I answered 6 questions.. I think I answered them all with "Fuck, ya, that is so me!"..

I then have a take home quiz with 12 symptoms of ADHD. I scored 12 of 12. I actually felt bad checking 12.. so I kinda like chose 10... then I asked my wife to read over the questions and add her comments and she checked the other two. She kinda pissed me off with her comments on the form but if it gets me meth I am game!

Today I took another of the kids pills. This is experiment #3. I have been spacing them out on my Doctors suggestion. Oh, and the real doctor did not like my experimentation. Fuck her. I really needed a pill today because I am car-less. I turned my lease in and figured I would just get another stinking lease. However because of some issues I was declined a new lease. So I was left scrambling for a car. Luckily a friend from work could lend me one for 2-3 weeks. So this weekend I HAD to be focused on getting a new car.

I vegged out for some of the morning then took my pill and started going. It is 9:15 and I am bone tired. It is a good tired though. Not the soul sucking tired that my entire life has been... but the tired of a good days work. I am pretty sunburned and mosquito bitten.

The day started and I let my wife know I was doing the meth and why. I think she has some medical background because as soon as the effects started kicking in she drops the sentence "It would be great if you could clean up the back yard". Luckily I had plans already made to do car stuff. So I took off. Scored a nice 104 in Words with Enemies. I will tell you about that fucking game soon. I surfed Craigs list. Saw a nice Lexus for 4k. Sent emails. Took a drive to a used car dealer. Saw another Lexus. It is a 1997 with 125K miles for 4K also. The used lot will of course finance me. Ug. I may try and pay in cash. So I got a few leads and also a possibility for a brand new lease with the old Honda place. I just need to send them some information. Car stuff done. I also grabbed some old toys sitting in the back yard and tried to sell them to a kids place. I need to go back AFTER I remove the spiders. What kinda fucking rule is it that they do not take shit with spiders? What is this fucking Texas?

I get home and I am roaring to go on the back yard. My wife's subliminal suggestion while I was in my meth daze kicked in. I go into tornado mode and clean everything in the back stairs. I rake. I clear debris. I clean the fucking spiders out. I rake. I move leaves. I hook our hose up to the whirly hose thing. I am on fiyah! It is fucking 100 degrees out and I am working my ass off.. drinking my Vitamin water... watching the dogs, watering the dogs 100 times... just fucking doing shit. I finally removed the old backboard from the post in the ground and covered up the hole again. I did all kinds of shit.

Like I said I just stopped now. Mosquitoes were fucking killing me! I swear that Mosquitoes love meth! I had 2 applications of bug spray all over my body and STILL they attacked me! I worked on! Sweat. Sunburn. Nothing stops me.  Exhaustion? I just ignore it. All the kids toys are put away. The back stair area looks good and is ready for some planting or something.

"Meth lesson number one, DO NOT GO OUTSIDE AFTER DARK! Mosquitoes LOVE METH!"

I really feel like the drugs maybe have worn off by now but the euphoria of not procrastinating and accomplishing things and not being so fucking angry all day is just amazing. The results are different this time. I have less of the happy-happy feeling and just more of a low grade drive and ability to function with a little OCD thrown in perhaps. It is just what I need.

I finished up with a nice hot bath. I am now ready to write a blog post, and fix a door inside the house and keep rocking my day out.

Meth lesson number two, DO NOT take your phone into your bath! I will send you the pictures later Josie."

I may be fucked up or totally wrong or some fucking shit like that but I really see this as the salvation of my life. It has helped me in 3 doses more than 6 months of anti-depressant medication. All the anti-depression meds do is make me less angry somewhat. The medicines do not help me tackle the number one need in my life: To take back control of my life and stop being an observer.

Feel free to make any comments. I really appreciate Lightning coming by and voicing his concerns and advice. I know I fucking piss him off sometimes but I do really like him and appreciate everything he has done for me. Of course shout outs to my Doctors Pauly and Don. Peace bro's!


** The picture of the work I did really does not do it justice. I can not really describe the mess that was there and how much better it looks now.

Finally

Finally passed a test. Got a sheet to see if I have ADHD and filled out the initial part.. and scored pretty high I think.  I feel like my shrink just thinks I am a meth head that wants a fix. I read a lot of the symptoms and it just clicks with me.. like "Blurts out unappropriated things in conversations".. Hello, have any of you ever read this blog? I am worse in person sometimes. Amusing but worse.

I have a 2 page quiz to finish up.. and I have to write some of my experiences from childhood and then I get to see if I can be a druggy. As I read through the sheet I keep connecting with points. Like can't sit still... when I was a kid I would sit in front of the TV and unconsciously rock back and forth. Shit like that.

Anyways will keep you posted. If I do get on these drugs I think I may not be a Mad Man anymore.... Ah well, the blog has been kind of quiet lately anyways.