The El Jay

All in pre-flop.. sometimes you need to know when to quit. I did after this hand. Well played my friend. Well played. I insta-snapped off his bluff. Well he was not technically bluffing. He just thought that Ax is da nut. The El Jay. Money in the bank.

Saturday Night Bitches

2 Hours / 400 Hands / 2.5BI

Good day. Took down two buyins early then gave one back. I then fought hard and won that buyin back along with another half a buyin.

One of my biggest plays was calling an huge overbet on the river with 3rd best visible hand. The board was TTQ and I had JJ. My opponent bet pot then overbet big. I read this as weak and called my whole stack off. I won.

What do I think about snapping off bluffs? It can be profitable but I am not sure if it is a necessary skill at RUSH. It is REALLY hard sometimes to separate your emotions and your reads. Especially when you do not play a strict math game.. instead relying on feel. At times your going to be off. You are going to call because you put too much in already or you are tired of getting bet off hands. Other times your read is pure and you make a bunch of money.

In general those big river bets are bluffs at the .5/.10 level. However you can get your money in better than that. So be careful and if your reading really good then snap off some more bluffs otherwise use your other tools to print the dosh.

Gah! Stupid Poker.

400 Hands / -5BI / 2 Hours

Blah. Bad night. I lost my two buyins and stopped... then I went back.. still bad night. Ah well. Damage done but not as bad as it could have been. I finally just said "Look dude, your tired, your chasing, go do something else". Still way up so not worried. Rake kicking in this week. All is good. I do need to stick to my stop losses though. Perhaps take the weekend off too who knows.

The Legend Never Dies

200 Hands / +1BI / 15 minutes

So I promised Thorny I would give him a shout out. Last night I only played a little. I just was not excited to play so I put in the minimum time to get a buyin and left.

New readers all the time. Kind of nice. Not sure where these people find me. Probably from Google searching "BLOODY FUCKING CUNT WOMEN".

Thorn was curious about how to make good bluffs. I really am not sure. I think in the RUSH games there are a few things I try to do.

This advice applies to grinding it out at the .5/.10 levels and will need to be adjusted for higher levels. First off people play pretty ABC at the lower levels. If someone checks it usually means weakness. If someone bets small. Weak. If someone calls you pre-flop instead of raising. Probably weak. If you see weakness at these levels you should always pounce. Do not get carried away. It usually is not worth it. You can make a ton of money just raising and c-bet bluffing. Also calling a raise and betting when the guy leads out small or checks the flop. I will state it again though. You have to be willing to let go when he says "Ah ha just kidding I have something". Also if you sense that he is a calling station. He thinks he is beat. He is weak. He is not folding. That is why he loses so much money. So be on the watch for things like that.

For a bluff to work it needs to make sense. If I limp pre-flop then bet when an Ace hits is someone going to give me credit for a big Ace? No. I limped. Nobody in their right mind limps a good Ace. Now if I raise 25o pre-flop. I then lead out fast and hard on the flop. I am getting more folds here because it makes sense that my strong ace is going to bet there. So try and raise a lot in these games. It gives you the initiative and makes your c-bets more believable.

Three barrel when you think someone is bluffing. I do a lot of this based on what country the guy is from. I have a whole post on this coming soon. Eurotards are bad. If someone is raising from 1-2 off the CO then you can safely re-raise them. A lot of times they will get stubborn and call. You then c-bet and take down a larger pot. Occasionally they hit and you have to let it go to the re-raise but in the long run this will allow you to normally take down 3BB pre-flop. Not bad stuff.

So those are some of my ideas on playing RUSH poker at the lower levels. I will admit that I have had a spotty cash game record. Mostly because of tilting I think. As you can see though I am doing well so far in RUSH poker. I am up 3x my original stake and have had one losing session in two weeks. So possibly I am doing something right. Good luck to you all.

Unreasonable Women

What a fucking retard my ex is. She gets all mad this morning because I do not help with the kids like I have not done for a while now. I also would not listen to her command to unload the dishwasher. Get your bitch ass in the kitchen and unload it yourself. Tell Nick to come over and fucking unload it cunt. You lost that ability.

Being the nice reasonable guy I am I said "Look, if you come up with a list of your chores and chores you would like me to do, I will review the list with you and if I think it is fair then I will do those chores.". No. That is not fair. That is not reasonable. I would rather bitch and moan about how you do not help then get you to help. Well fuck you. I am more than willing to have expectations and meet them. What I am unwilling to do is to be at your beck and call whenever it fucking pleases you.

Next we are driving towards my stop. We have missed my commuter train so I need to get the green line. She then tells me she is dropping me off here so I can wait 45 minutes for the next train. Why you might ask? So she can have coffee with Nick. Oh wow. Now the tirade this morning makes more sense. So I say "If you drop me off here you are done". I have no idea what that means. I think threats are better when they have no meaning. She asks "What does that mean". I repeat "Just drop me off. You are so done".

She must have picked up that I was pissed off so she freaks out and yells at me. She then reschedules her coffee for later and drops me off at the proper place. Look cunt. You agreed to drop me off. I make all the fucking money in the house except the tiny little chump change that your fucking college degree got you. You could probably wipe your ass with that Smith College snooty paper and get more worth out of it. You better get your priorities straight.

Seriously though I am fucking done. I am making a list. I am fucking taking away every ounce of power she has. I am tired of waiting. So I am getting off my ass and doing the things I need to do. I have tried to be reasonable. It is not working.

The funny part that kills me is she complains that she has to take care of the kids in the morning. Oh wow. The Au Pair is on vacation for two weeks and you fucking break down. You have a goddamn woman to take care of your kids all day. How fucking hard is that? She is the one who cleans the house most of the time too. Not you. You are a fucking dirty whore who likes to live in filth.

She complains that she has no time for herself. She comes home at 6:00 and the kids homework is done, they have been fed, they are usually dressed for bed. If they are staying up too late then fucking grow a pair and make them go to bed. If you put them down at 8:00 then you have the rest of the goddamn night for yourself. Idiot.

So Pissed off.

Starting in a Hole

444 Hands / +.2 BI / 1 Hour

Somedays I start by losing a buyin. Usually because I am a little too hyper aggressive.. See the 96 hand.. I agree that hand was a clusterfuck. The reason for it was not my betting necessarily. I only got one part of the equation right. You need to sense peoples weakness but you also have to know what they are going to do. I knew he did not like the kings and he was weaker than a king.. what I misread was his willingness to fold queens. Meh. Shit happens. I make mistakes all the time.

The good thing lately is I have been limiting the losses and pushing the wins. Playing while I feel it. Letting my aggtard out a little. One key I believe in poker is to know how your opponents play and play differently than them.

What do I mean by that? For the LONGEST time the bible of poker was Super System. It is still a great book. People ALL started playing that way because it was new and nobody knew what to do because it was counter intuitive to the poker being played at the time. Next came the young guns and they threw super system out. These guys knew everyone played that style so they attacked it.

In rush poker it is the same. I know that most people play this game tight. Everyone reasons that they can fold the blind and see the next hand. In this way you can steal a HUGE amount of money from the table. I mean the blinds do not seem to be a huge deal but if you are doing it right then it makes all the difference.

A Tale of Two Buyins

300 Hands / +1BI / .5 Hours

I have decided to include hand histories with my explanations of hands. It will make things less confusing. Although it is more fun scratching your head and trying to figure out what the hell I am saying. I am doing this because a new commenter possibly new reader named Hellblood is always like "wtf?" in my comments. Apparently he thinks this is a poker blog.

I start off good with a standard double up with AA vs QQ. I then decide to bluff the fuck out of this hand. Occasionally I should be smarter and not bluff as much. However I think the poker gods like when I bluff. Originally I felt bad about spewing off on a bluff but I think that is a bad mentality. I was sort of right that he had a weakish hand. I just did not realize he would not fold. If you never bluff though your doing it wrong and when you bluff you will get caught on occasion. Show Hand

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699630056: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:25:51 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: Siyanda ($12.19)
Seat 2: Gieremek65 ($11.19)
Seat 3: diddlmaus64 ($10.46)
Seat 4: LessonsRExtra ($13.63)
Seat 5: Majubiese ($12.53)
Seat 6: FATSALI ($10.15)
Seat 7: Waffles ($9.66)
Seat 8: GA31 ($10.73)
Seat 9: schrder_hl ($6.84)
Waffles posts the small blind of $0.05
GA31 posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [6c 9c]
schrder_hl folds
Siyanda folds
Gieremek65 folds
diddlmaus64 folds
LessonsRExtra folds
Majubiese raises to $0.35
FATSALI folds
Waffles raises to $0.90
GA31 folds
Majubiese calls $0.55
*** FLOP *** [5h Ks 7s]
Waffles has 15 seconds left to act
Waffles bets $1.25
Majubiese calls $1.25
*** TURN *** [5h Ks 7s] [Kh]
Waffles bets $2
Majubiese calls $2
*** RIVER *** [5h Ks 7s Kh] [3d]
Waffles has 15 seconds left to act
Waffles bets $4
Majubiese calls $4
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Waffles shows [6c 9c] a pair of Kings
Majubiese shows [Qh Qs] two pair, Kings and Queens
Majubiese wins the pot ($15.31) with two pair, Kings and Queens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $16.40 | Rake $1.09
Board: [5h Ks 7s Kh 3d]
Seat 1: Siyanda didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Gieremek65 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: diddlmaus64 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: LessonsRExtra didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: Majubiese showed [Qh Qs] and won ($15.31) with two pair, Kings and Queens
Seat 6: FATSALI (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: Waffles (small blind) showed [6c 9c] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 8: GA31 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 9: schrder_hl didn't bet (folded)

The poker gods loves me though. When I am not playing like a puss they reward me like this

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699642396: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:26:54 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: Majubiese ($19.69)
Seat 2: billcf123 ($23.07)
Seat 3: v1cmAn ($10.52)
Seat 4: Waffles ($1.51)
Seat 5: falcon725 ($10.64)
Seat 6: Boggart York ($23.42)
Seat 7: PKR TG10 ($13.78)
Seat 8: Sly-kon ($10.15)
Seat 9: JonDohnson ($7.49)
Sly-kon posts the small blind of $0.05
JonDohnson posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #7
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [2h 2d]
Majubiese folds
billcf123 folds
v1cmAn folds
Waffles calls $0.10
falcon725 folds
Boggart York folds
PKR TG10 calls $0.10
Sly-kon has 8 seconds left to act
Sly-kon raises to $0.55
JonDohnson folds
Waffles calls $0.45
PKR TG10 folds
*** FLOP *** [3h 2c 2s]
Sly-kon bets $9.60, and is all in
Waffles calls $0.96, and is all in
Sly-kon shows [Ad Ah]
Waffles shows [2h 2d]
Uncalled bet of $8.64 returned to Sly-kon
*** TURN *** [3h 2c 2s] [7d]
*** RIVER *** [3h 2c 2s 7d] [8s]
Sly-kon shows two pair, Aces and Twos
Waffles shows four of a kind, Twos
Waffles wins the pot ($3.01) with four of a kind, Twos
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $3.22 | Rake $0.21
Board: [3h 2c 2s 7d 8s]
Seat 1: Majubiese didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: billcf123 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: v1cmAn didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Waffles showed [2h 2d] and won ($3.01) with four of a kind, Twos
Seat 5: falcon725 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Boggart York didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: PKR TG10 (button) folded before the Flop
Seat 8: Sly-kon (small blind) showed [Ad Ah] and lost with two pair, Aces and Twos
Seat 9: JonDohnson (big blind) folded before the Flop

and this

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699650475: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:27:34 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: DerUnglaubliche ($25.36)
Seat 2: YourMothersV ($9.81)
Seat 3: KOMA8787 ($2.80)
Seat 4: ReinMaker ($9.32)
Seat 5: kleopatra7 ($9.94)
Seat 6: tonet9 ($4)
Seat 7: Waffles ($3.01)
Seat 8: GA31 ($10.18)
Seat 9: Sly-kon ($10)
kleopatra7 posts the small blind of $0.05
tonet9 posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [9d 9h]
Waffles calls $0.10
GA31 folds
Sly-kon has 8 seconds left to act
Sly-kon folds
DerUnglaubliche folds
YourMothersV folds
KOMA8787 folds
ReinMaker has 8 seconds left to act
ReinMaker folds
kleopatra7 folds
tonet9 checks
*** FLOP *** [5h Kc 4d]
tonet9 checks
Waffles bets $0.25
tonet9 calls $0.25
*** TURN *** [5h Kc 4d] [9s]
tonet9 checks
Waffles bets $0.75
tonet9 raises to $3.65, and is all in
Waffles calls $1.91, and is all in
tonet9 shows [4c Kh]
Waffles shows [9d 9h]
Uncalled bet of $0.99 returned to tonet9
*** RIVER *** [5h Kc 4d 9s] [9c]
tonet9 shows two pair, Kings and Nines
Waffles shows four of a kind, Nines
Waffles wins the pot ($5.67) with four of a kind, Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $6.07 | Rake $0.40
Board: [5h Kc 4d 9s 9c]
Seat 1: DerUnglaubliche didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: YourMothersV didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: KOMA8787 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: ReinMaker (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: kleopatra7 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: tonet9 (big blind) showed [4c Kh] and lost with two pair, Kings and Nines
Seat 7: Waffles showed [9d 9h] and won ($5.67) with four of a kind, Nines
Seat 8: GA31 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: Sly-kon didn't bet (folded)

.

Alas somehow I ended up going broke

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699765543: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:37:03 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: valkovboss ($5.12)
Seat 2: Paetron ($10.23)
Seat 3: slymer55 ($25.54)
Seat 4: bxstar ($9.40)
Seat 5: Dashbo ($13.69)
Seat 6: jogott ($14.62)
Seat 7: winmagic78 ($12.92)
Seat 8: GA31 ($11.02)
Seat 9: Maniac57 ($3.58)
Maniac57 posts the small blind of $0.05
valkovboss posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Maniac57 [Ad 8d]
Paetron folds
slymer55 folds
bxstar has 8 seconds left to act
bxstar calls $0.10
Dashbo folds
jogott folds
winmagic78 folds
GA31 folds
Maniac57 has 8 seconds left to act
Maniac57 raises to $0.30
valkovboss folds
bxstar calls $0.20
*** FLOP *** [5c 7h 6d]
Maniac57 bets $0.40
bxstar raises to $1.90
Maniac57 raises to $3.28, and is all in
bxstar calls $1.38
Maniac57 shows [Ad 8d]
bxstar shows [7s 7c]
*** TURN *** [5c 7h 6d] [Ts]
*** RIVER *** [5c 7h 6d Ts] [2c]
Maniac57 shows Ace Ten high
bxstar shows three of a kind, Sevens
bxstar wins the pot ($6.78) with three of a kind, Sevens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $7.26 | Rake $0.48
Board: [5c 7h 6d Ts 2c]
Seat 1: valkovboss (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: Paetron didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: slymer55 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: bxstar showed [7s 7c] and won ($6.78) with three of a kind, Sevens
Seat 5: Dashbo didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: jogott didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: winmagic78 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: GA31 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: Maniac57 (small blind) showed [Ad 8d] and lost with Ace Ten high

on that buyin anyways.

So I fired it up again and hit a mad rush of cards. Actually what I hit was a mad rush of situations. Cards do not matter at all. It is having those cards hit when people have reasonably strong hands.

I think in this hand

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699977442: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:53:29 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: v1cmAn ($9.43)
Seat 2: royalrens ($15.93)
Seat 3: thepokerjoker12 ($6.71)
Seat 4: hope123 ($8.30)
Seat 5: Waffles ($10.98)
Seat 6: bbkiddo ($4.89)
Seat 7: freund147 ($10.05)
Seat 8: zektotti ($3.31)
Seat 9: sayplsbb ($11.28)
hope123 posts the small blind of $0.05
Waffles posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [5c 7c]
bbkiddo folds
freund147 has 8 seconds left to act
freund147 folds
zektotti folds
sayplsbb folds
v1cmAn calls $0.10
royalrens folds
thepokerjoker12 folds
hope123 has 8 seconds left to act
hope123 calls $0.05
Waffles checks
*** FLOP *** [3c 3s Qd]
hope123 checks
Waffles checks
v1cmAn checks
*** TURN *** [3c 3s Qd] [6c]
hope123 bets $0.30
Waffles calls $0.30
v1cmAn folds
*** RIVER *** [3c 3s Qd 6c] [4h]
hope123 bets $7.90, and is all in
Waffles calls $7.90
*** SHOW DOWN ***
hope123 shows [Ah 3h] three of a kind, Threes
Waffles shows [5c 7c] a straight, Seven high
Waffles wins the pot ($15.59) with a straight, Seven high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $16.70 | Rake $1.11
Board: [3c 3s Qd 6c 4h]
Seat 1: v1cmAn folded on the Turn
Seat 2: royalrens didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: thepokerjoker12 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: hope123 (small blind) showed [Ah 3h] and lost with three of a kind, Threes
Seat 5: Waffles (big blind) showed [5c 7c] and won ($15.59) with a straight, Seven high
Seat 6: bbkiddo didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: freund147 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: zektotti didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: sayplsbb didn't bet (folded)

my opponent slow play no pay. Well it paid me. Glad the straight hit and not the flush. I hit gutters like a motherfucker.

Love me some German money

Full Tilt Poker Game #18699995930: Table Mach 10 - $0.05/$0.10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:54:54 ET - 2010/02/23
Seat 1: JunPyo ($16.53)
Seat 2: Waffles ($17.57)
Seat 3: manmoon92 ($14.51)
Seat 4: kinyii ($9.99)
Seat 5: freund147 ($9.70)
Seat 6: Iseeuhand ($10)
Seat 7: RoyBati ($10.20)
Seat 8: 5andelay ($9.80)
Seat 9: valkovboss ($4.50)
valkovboss posts the small blind of $0.05
JunPyo posts the big blind of $0.10
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Waffles [6s 6c]
Waffles calls $0.10
manmoon92 calls $0.10
kinyii has 8 seconds left to act
kinyii folds
freund147 calls $0.10
Iseeuhand folds
RoyBati folds
5andelay folds
valkovboss folds
JunPyo checks
*** FLOP *** [3h 6d 4s]
JunPyo checks
Waffles bets $0.30
manmoon92 folds
freund147 raises to $1.35
JunPyo has 15 seconds left to act
JunPyo has requested TIME
JunPyo folds
Waffles calls $1.05
*** TURN *** [3h 6d 4s] [Ks]
Waffles checks
freund147 bets $2.50
Waffles raises to $16.12, and is all in
freund147 calls $5.75, and is all in
Waffles shows [6s 6c]
freund147 shows [4c 4d]
Uncalled bet of $7.87 returned to Waffles
*** RIVER *** [3h 6d 4s Ks] [9s]
Waffles shows three of a kind, Sixes
freund147 shows three of a kind, Fours
Waffles wins the pot ($18.34) with three of a kind, Sixes
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $19.65 | Rake $1.31
Board: [3h 6d 4s Ks 9s]
Seat 1: JunPyo (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: Waffles showed [6s 6c] and won ($18.34) with three of a kind, Sixes
Seat 3: manmoon92 folded on the Flop
Seat 4: kinyii didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: freund147 showed [4c 4d] and lost with three of a kind, Fours
Seat 6: Iseeuhand didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: RoyBati didn't bet (folded)
Seat 8: 5andelay (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: valkovboss (small blind) folded before the Flop

. Set over set is always awesome. I thought he could have a straight but I had outs and I decided if he had the monster than so be it. I think he has the straight maybe 10-15% of the time. Since he is German. SO I went for it.

So that is a tale of two buyins. One I made a few wrong moves and did not get lucky, the other I got really lucky to hit big hands when my opponent had strong hands also. As a side note I am going to play around with the DIV tags a little today, so will probably republish this post a lot, and figure out how to make them jump better. I like putting the hand history in a tag so you can optionally see the hands. If anyone wants some help implementing something like that let me know.

Are you kidding me?

I just read this at do or die poker. Are you fucking kidding me? I agree with the sentiment that Gabe is kind of lame by himself. Put someone in the booth for him to talk to. I think you could come up with someone better then Guido Benza. See if Vinny Bobbarino want's to do it. heh.

Oh Canada

Um.. Sorry?

Good Feelings

200 hands / 1BI / 20 minutes

I figured I wanted some good feelings. After losing 4BI of my 8BI run I felt I needed some positivity. So I won a buyin and left. Weekends are nuts. I noticed I raised like 75% of my hands at RUSH poker. Sick. The hand that put me over the top? I had 89o flop was X9X. Turn was an 8. I was against A9. The turn made a scary straight type board. I put the guy on Aces or some overpair to be honest. Dude jammed in on the turn. I called expecting to see a hand stronger than A9. Funny stuff. Sometimes I really can not understand these people.

Blah

400 hands / -4BI

Hand of the day. K vs 99 on a K934K board. I *could* have gotten away from the hand if the river was not a K.. Even though I put my opponent on some smaller K hand. The third K and my read and his overjam just blinded me and there goes 2BI.

Seems like AK is a bad hand for me lately. Gah! Still up around 2BI for the weekend. It was a little sad though because I played poorly. Got knocked down to 1/2 BI left. I then stuck with it and ran it back up to 1/2 BI up. The hand of the day then happens and that kills 2BI because the German had a double stack and a better hand. Ug! Somedays I think I should avoid playing on the weekend.

CRACK

1 hour / 400 hands / 6 BI

Sort of makes me feel like I know how to play poker. Current plan. Keep winning. Beat Bayne in our wager. Use my rapidly growing FTP points at 1800 for a 26$ token. Keep on rolling.

Hand of the day. I have AK. Call a re-raise. Possibly a mistake. Flop comes AK6. I call a bet. Turn is a K. Can I get away from AA here? My instincts were saying he had it but I could not let go.

Down a buyin I re-bought and worked it back up to up a BI. This added to my morning session where I crushed for 5 buyins in like 1/2 hour. Now it is time for dinner and some WoW ecconomics later.

I Think Thou Dost Protest Too Much

ON_THG had a comment about Hoyazo saying Rush Poker was crap. Hoyazo then commented -"It just makes me a little sad I guess to see so many people writing about how awesome Rush Poker is when I know it's really benefitting only the poker site and not the players who know how to play the game."

My opinion in under ten thousand words.

First - Spell Benefiting correctly. ;).

Second - Honestly there is only one bottom line to poker. Win. Make money. If every table on Full Tilt was turned to Rush poker you would still play Hoyazo because you think you could win.

Third - If your too stupid to adapt to the strategies necessary to make Rush Poker extremely profitable then you suck. You suck anyways. This suck is at poker. You suck anyways at poker. You get the point.

Fourth - Let me tell you all a story. Once upon a time there was poker. It was good. All the cheats and card sharks played and some got shot. It kind of matured a bit and regular people started playing. It then started trailing off a little. People did not want to play NLHE. The people thought it was slow and boring and had no action. So the good players lamented and cried and tried to figure out how to make the game fun. Thus was born Omatard. Nobody thinks that is a corruption of poker.

Poker is constantly adapting and changing. NLHE is a fairly new corruption as well as tourneys and SNGs. These have however become part of the landscape and are now "Traditional" poker. The diaper men at the poker rooms playing stud probably think that these things are a corruption of poker also. RUSH will either find it's place in the repertoire of the poker universe or will be kicked to the curb as a flash in the pan. Either way it is not for some punk like you to decide what is traditional and fine.

*** I neither claim to be a poker historian or to be particularly accurate in anything factual but I stand by the point that Omatard was a "new" outgrowth of poker just like RUSH is.

RUSSSH Some Moar

1 Hour / 400 Hands / +3 BI

Rush poker is like crack. Although I think it MAKES you play poker like you should. I guess it does not force you but with all the nits it is profitable to be an aggtard. I love that style too.

Hand of the night. Flop is 99x. I have JJ. I make small bets on the flop and turn and get cold called. River is a JACK. I lead out again and dude jams in for 2 buyins. I have him covered and call. If he has 99 then fuck me. If not then fuck him. Turns out he slow played 97 and got ass raped by the river. TYVM Full Tilt RNG.

I made a ton of money bluffing too. I love bluffing. It is better than sex. Well better than sex with the chicks I am sleeping with lately. Have fun. Already doubled the bankroll in three days. Winning is addictive.

You Fucking Skag

See I told you that more drama was coming. Just have to wait. I have to say I really enjoy these glimpses into why you like my blog.

The other night Nick's wife gets the credit card bill. Guess what is on it? A trip to Chicago. The airline said that there would be no names on the bill however when the statement came it said "Passengers: Michele and Nick". Obviously this sent his unstable little slut into a British hissy fit. Michele let me listen to the voice mail. I am not sure what a skag is but it can not be good. She has left a couple of nasty emails. You have to love the British way of expressing anger: "Do not ever darken my door again you traitorous skag!". Very proper. I should try a rant in that style.

As we were laughing about this woman who cheated on Nick for a year being angry at Michele she told me another story. Apparently his wife had her sister in town. The whole family is a bunch of looners apparently. His wife starts getting down on her sister about something and all of the sudden the sister is beating the crap out of her. Slamming her head into a wall. Police were called in. Very interesting stuff.

No real updates to speak of for myself. Nick is meeting with his lawyer in March and I should have a better idea if my wife can suck dick into another marriage soon or not. She is pretty skilled so I am hoping for the best.

RUSHH BABY RUSSSHH

1/2 Hour. 200 hands. Almost 2 BI profit.

Had another fun night at the tables. Some weird hands.

I raise pre-flop with TT. Flop comes Jxx. I c-bet. Standard. I get called in two places. I check the turn. The river is a king so I bet close to pot. I am trying to control the river not necessarily make people fold. I figure a weak king *might* fold since I am screaming strong king.. also most jacks should fold here. I get called. I swear to high hell. I mean he has to be able to beat TT if he is calling a semi large river bet right? Nope. Ship it! He had 99. I thought for sure when he called he had some hand like KQ KT. Never expected 99.

Next nice hand came really quickly. I raise with AQ diamonds. Get called by the small blind. Flop comes 245. Two diamonds. First position leads out and I opt to call. Turn is a jack. When first position leads out I decide to be a ballah. Represent the Jack. So I push in. I at this time had almost a double stack. The guy snap calls and turns over the ahead hand of 46o. So I had decided to gamble the turn with 9 flush outs, 3 gutter outs, and 6 overcard outs. Obviously I am double counting some outs but all in all not bad. Is my opponent shithouse crazy to call me here? He had my gutter beat so I lost 3 outs but man did I have a ton of cards that would help. I was happy to see a ten of diamonds on the river. Ship!

I then spewed back some. Got back down to up 1 buyin from up 2. I settled down a little and won back close to a buyin. I then decided to just leave. Could I be learning? Nahhhhhh.

Hey I won, Wow, Awesome

I won at poker last night. It was fun. The end. Seriously. I did. I played some more RUSH poker. It was the usual.

I have 66 vs AJ. Flop comes AJ. Dude bets really small. I call. Turn is a lovely 6. Dude bets again. I jam him all in. He calls. River Jack. Down a bit.

I have A7 dude has 97. Flop comes 236. We get all in on the flop. Turn is a 9. Down some more.

I hit gutterballs like a motherfucker. I am now back to even. I love the gutter shove especially in RUSH poker.

I have KK. Three way all in. I am up against Q7 and QQ. I avoid the one out. I am way up now.

I shove KK into AA. Not good. A few more suckouts happen for and against and I finally get smart and leave with close to a buyin profit.

I have a new sport. Rejamming Germans. Very profitable and fun as fuck. The Germans NEVER have anything.

I find that RUSH poker is very very bouncy. Like CK. I go up and down a lot. Perhaps this is how the flow of poker SHOULD be? Instead of trying to never lose a hand just keep the action going fast and furious. I think possibly though that it is teaching me how to play aggressively better. I normally do not raise, bluff enough. Somehow I still get people to call pre-flop all in jams with 52o but that is another story. Yeah, I lost that hand too. Fucking French people.

I still can not reconcile the bad beats. It is SOOOOO bad for my game. I just can not call poker a "Game of Skill" when in the first dozen hands I see several 1-3 outters. It drives me insane.

I have decided to try a new approach. I am going to make 2500 playing poker. I am going to cash out 2k and go to Disney land. I believe 2k is enough at least for Hotel and Airfare. I may need a little more for actual Disney thing. So we will see if this keeps me a little more focused.

Sorry for the Poker news but not much going on in the soap opera department at the moment. Although Bayne has decided I am Good Luck Chuck. Hear that single ladies? Use the cooler for your own profit. I will not be responsible for any loss of social status.

Trauma Poker

So the Waffle House most valuable customer of the year Trauma is posting a bit. Check out a rare Waffles win. See how my opponents automagically assume I have absolutely nothing and call off their entire stacks.. and then outflop me... and these are supposedly good players? At least better than .05/.10 cent guys? Ya, I just do not see it.

Oh Fuck

Dear Nick,

I apologize for the layoffs at Boston Scientific. I am sorry you lost your job.

FML,
The Cooler

Ok. It has not happened yet but his head is certainly on the chopping block with this round of 10% of the workforce being laid off. if they cut the FAT he is so gone.

Women Just Do Not Get It

Here is an example while it is fresh in my mind. I get up this morning. There is snow outside. Now normally I do not care and let my cunt wife shovel it. Right? Somehow I am feeling like doing manly things. So I go outside in the freezing cold. Shovel the whole walk and drive. I take out the trash. Put out the recyclables. I then start scraping off the car when she comes out. First thing out of her mouth: "You need to clear off the front it's full of ice". Now my initial angry retort was "I have not fucking gotten to it yet". Here is where women just do not get it. If a man does manly things for you.. things you like and want done.. then the first thing you should do is say "Wow Nice Job on the Walk!" or "Thanks for clearing off the car". Now we will probably grunt at you and you may not think we appreciate it. However we will have been positively reinforced like the dogs we are. So we will naturally do these tasks again without any bitchingprompting from you. Instead of you getting all mad that we do not do things we will become this amazing slave machine. It really is a good idea. Now the next time my cunt ex wife see's it snowing she will wonder why the walk is not shoveled. Fuck you bitch. It's your own fault.

Financial Ramifications To Atlantic City

I have done vast amounts of data analysis and read the opinions of my colleges at High on Poker, Riggsdad, and the donkey Heffmike. In regards to the legalizing of casino table games in bordering states, after much crunching of numbers and polling of the pundits, I have come up with what I think is the AC factor. Atlantic City smells like poo why would I want to go there?. That is all.

Olympics

Hey I just realized they are coming up soon. Not sure what kinds of things to bet on but I will answer any betting questions posted. One thing I am totally sure of is that the Canadian Hockey Team is going to kick some ass! Those guys are awesome!!

Cake Poker

I read a few posts about Cake Poker. The most recent and complete is probably by some dude named Dan Katz. I have not read any of his crap before. He seems like a good writer. Not sure if you pokeratzi's know him or not.

His premise was it is a bad thing that everyone is so outraged at Cake poker for making a mistake in a hand. The people at 2+2 are all overexcited little kids and need to grow up. I am not one to defend 2+2. I think for the most part it is a bunch of ass hats. Elitist morons. Funny thing is probably most of the people sprouting great advice on how to play that 1% hand are losing players.

I do however disagree with Mr. Katz. Is he related to Dr. Katz? Is he fat and bald loser too? Sorry.. my mind wanders in my old age.

I think it is a positive thing when the community calls out a site for any problem. If it was not for some smart number crunchers on 2+2 we might never have heard of the problems with UltimateCheat and AbsoluteThieves. In that case also people were yelling and screaming and acting juvenile. The news got around though and people made their own decisions. I personally would like to see the Poker community not forgive UB and boycott them for a long time. Other assholes like Hoyazo will just play where they think the value is. It is our choice how we respond to this.

In the case of Cake poker I feel more lenient. I think this was a software bug and that the poker room took the appropriate action to notify people and fix the bug. The room even went above and beyond the necessary steps and basically gave .02/.04 players more money than they will ever win in their lifetimes. I think this was a nice gesture.

The point is that all the yelling and screaming and overreacting is EXACTLY what online poker needs. It gets the word out. It allows people of reasonable intelligence to hear the facts and the rhetoric and the trolls and then make an informed decision on where to use their spending power. The only possible downside I can see to this is mainstream media trying to sensationalize things for ratings. All in all I think the benefit outweighs any costs and I am glad that online players keep the sites accountable even if some of them do it in a fucked up troll like way.

Coolered

"If I wanted to learn Spanish I would fuck a Hispanic chick.. "¡oh dios sí, sí, dios del ohhh SÍ! Galletas!! Galletas!!"
- Waffleism of the Day

Probably not going to be a regular feature. I had a good time this weekend causing the Colts to fail. It was funny too because I was late to my friend Mark's house so the whole time I was not there the Colts were winning.. but when I sat down to watch the game they got creamed. Congratz to the Saints. They made the adjustments they needed and outplayed the Colts.

I got totally smashed at the house. I pounded down five or six beers early and often and out popped the entertaining Waffles. It was fun. I met up with a bunch of people I had not seen in years. It was a little odd. The terrorist was there. Funny little bald fuck. Also two guys I had not seen since sixth grade. Weird shit. It was fun reliving my bachelor party with the guys.

I even played some poker this weekend. Up 3.5 buyins. Love the RUSH. I am currently working on my guide to break even play at RUSH. My last session consisted of buying in short and sucking out a lot. I crushed QJ 2x after raising pre-flop and getting into a pissing war on the flop with AK. Lost a decent sized hand with AK vs AA. Won a few nice hands with QQ vs KK and 33 flopped set vs OESD.

The thing I like about RUSH is it forces me to be very aggressive pre-flop to steal a ton of blinds and then figure out when to put the breaks on. It is not a style I normally play so it can be fun.

Sorry Loretta

Loretta was mad that I left you guys hanging yesterday. He is going to be more fuming because it really has no good, juicy, story. I told her my concerns. She mentioned that she had thought about them but came to the conclusion that it was because his wife was fugly that he cheated. He has told her that he was never really attracted physically to his wife. Fat ass settling never works out. Least my wife is hot.

Now for the point you have all been waiting for: Super Bowl prediction. I pick Indy to win in a very close (1TD) game. A very high scoring game. That is all. Indy and the Over for the win.

On an unrelated note dreaming of fucking virgins as you dose off on the train into work is always good. Have fun. I am going to my friend Mark's house this weekend to get drunk and watch football.

And Now For Something Totally Different

I asked the wife if she though Nick was a scumbag and would cheat on her. I will talk about that more later. See the teaser to get you to keep reading. Alright I know I do not need a teaser. Train wreck syndrome is hard to stop watching.

I was thinking today about poker. Is it all about attitude and not skill. I am not picking on anyone here buttttt like LJ or IAK. We all read their blogs. Superstar cashes and massively bad plays like A-rag is the nuts. Except they won. Big things. Went so deep so often. Seemed like awesome players for a decent amount of time. Later on we heard a few grumblings about bad luck and hands not holding. Less reading about big scores. Did they just get less interested in making money? Did it take a while for their losing A-Rag bag style to catch up to them? Were they just bad players that got lucky?

I am not sure I think that is the case. Is it attitude? Did they see good hands get crushed and stop expecting to win. Instead of knowing that the hands they play were going to hit for sure did they feel the doom hammer coming? How much does that positive attitude that you ARE going to win come into play. Is it mysticism? Karma? Your expectations manifesting as reality? Do you just play different when you expect to lose? Did the game just get a lot tougher? Lot of good questions to think about.

I remember my attitude when I first started. I did not believe I could lose. If I chose the optimal hands to start with there was no way I could not win. I firmly believed that. I won. I kept winning. Straight up the ranks from .10cent LHE to 5/10 LHE. For a straight year I did nothing but win. Bloggers were jealous. Old school guys were like "WTF?". Of course the meteoric rise came with a equally fast crash and burn. After that. Once I knew I could lose. That I would lose. I never won again.

Probably all in all there are many factors that lead to going from winning all the time to losing. Attitude has to be one of them though.

I Run Goot

So one of the things that would help expedite the wife's going off with Nick is him finalizing his divorce. He was getting vested stocks in February and was going to buy out his wife's half of the house with his part of those. The other day his company finally lost a long standing court battle. His stocks are plunging faster than my bankroll on Full Tilt. I run so good.

Tragedy Looking Out for a Brotha

I am shocked and amazed someone like Instant Tragedy who was so scarred by a fucktard Ex-Wife would get married again. In some ways it gives me hope that I will get over my loathing of women. I have a real love-hate thing going on now with the female race.

As a brother in arms divorcee IT is looking out for me. I told him my dream in life is an empty two bedroom apartment with an air mattress and a small TV I have had since 1978. He wisely deduced I would also need some floor space for my computer. Soon hopefully my dream will come true.

I kind of feel like I should tell the wife that I think her boyfriend has some morality issues. It is not just one thing here. I think warning signs blare all over the place. He has cheated on his wife. He has done hookers on business trips. He even now lies to his wife saying he is not seeing Michele and yet shows up unannounced at her birthday dinner last night. I think to assuage my conscience I will tell her what I think. She never listens to me anyways. Least I can say "I told you so" when she comes crying to me a few years from now.

Not much else going on. Leveling my Shaman who is 74, and my Warlock who is 42. Trying to get my son to level his Paladin all the way to 80. He gets bored leveling characters. He like the end game achievements much more than getting to the end game. Mary from Florida is still providing much amusement. I think she is a blog favorite. Adding some long lost cross-pollination of hate not seen since the DuggleBoy era.

Peace out. Football picks later this week. I am going to my friend Mark's house for the Superbowl. Should be fun.

Avatard

Have not been posting lately. Obviously it is because Mary has beaten me down and caused me to cower in fear to his/her quantum paragraph physics which have not been seen since a Hoyazo post. What do I mean about that? It is like a typical Hoyazo post. He writes one thing and then three paragraphs later he contradicts himself. Like in one sentence Mary is telling Schaubs not to judge her because he does not know anything about her then in the next goes on to cast his/her internet judgments because well the rules do not apply for arrogant fucktards. Least keeps my readers amused.

I saw Avatar with the kids this weekend since I am a bad dad. Us bad parents can do that. PG 13. Pshhhawww. I enjoyed the movie. It was nice and three dee and shit. I am not sure I felt "OMFGHWHATANAWESOMEMOVIEBESTGRAPHICS
EVERHOWCANILIVEWITHOUT
JAMESCAMERONSDICKINMYASS". The kids enjoyed the movie also. I let them stuff down the popcorn and candy then we played some video games and went out for pizza.

Just in the interest of fair reporting I took the kids out so that my Wife could sneak behind Nick's Wife's back and see him. If you remember they agreed not to see each other for a bit until his Wife calmed down. He promised his wife that he would not see her or talk to her. However a day or so later they were texting and well I am not sure what they did in those two hours but the wife's knees are sore today.

I played in the Blogger thing. The Avatar movie caused me to start late. I still had a few chips. I figured since I played a little tight I would jam my first hand back. Unfortunately the first and only hand I played ran into Queens. I am sooo lucky. I really did not feel too bad about it.

/End Update