Dr. Pauly

He has started his WSOP days of torture. When I final table the ME he is going to get the exclusive story. Until then read about his tripping the WSOP this year. It is always good.

Stars Fishies

Holy shit did I have a good night at Pokerstars. This was after I got fucked out of one pot by JT. I had A3 hearts on a 245 2-heart board vs his A6 with two pair. I potted the flop for a goodly amount and got quartered by the miracle three on the turn. I respect the hell out of JT to be honest but that was a dumbass play in my opinion. Fucking hate PLO. I then overplayed what was almost a wrap but not really as it was only a 9-out straight and the TPTK was good enough to beat me. Oh well.

So anyways.. I hate MTTs.. and I went back to my cash game. I started up on Pokerstars and these fookers were calling me down with fucking 33 with me hitting a flush and showing 3 spades on the board.. I mean it was fucking amazing. I would have 4 cards to a straight and cr a guy and he would keep calling and calling and calling.. I won about 100 on Stars last night and like trippled my remaining piddly bankroll. Sweet stuff.

Full Tilt was not as good. Only won one buyin. Practically a break even night. Sitting at a little over 800 on the site right now. No matter though. Even if I sink to 700 or rise to 1200 none of that matters in the short term. Who gives a fuck. I am just gonna keep playing the best I can.

A couple of interesting hands last night kind of fucked me. A guy caught a AAAKK boat vs my 888JJ boat. Two Aces were showing but nothing else.. I sort of though he was overplaying a straight. So I capped him on the river. My bad. He had .45 cents left to call on the river and he waited like 15-seconds. Slow rolling motherfucker. I yelled at him. Told him I hope his colostomy bag breaks. Fucking old fucks.

I also called down a few weaker hands when I should not have. One of them I was crushed by yet another boat.. the other one I won a HUGE pot with 9944 four ways against some guy representing trip twos I guess. Seriously he bet the river with a pair of twos and I called everyone else folded. This in in a four way pot in which he had raised to two bets on sixth. Yikes! In general this play by me is losing poker but I was happy to scoop the pot.

I am enjoying the cash games a lot. I may try and get a token and play a 45-peep or 26-token 90-peep or something like that this weekend. However I really have no desire to play MTT or SNG games at the moment. I am riding the rush I guess. My chasing ass is doing great in Stud and I hope it continues.

I really would love to get my Pokerstars account from the fifty bucks (over a hundred now) to something I can work with. I used to really like the 22$-180 peep SNGs on Pokerstars and judging by the single one I played they are still soft. I used to crush those things regularly and had several first place wins and even cashed out a grand or so from the site just from those SNGs. Anyway we will see how it goes this weekend. Hopefully I will have good news. Good luck to you all.

New UB NEws

Just got the following e-mail saying that I was a victim of insider fraud on UB and that my account has been refunded $9300. Wow!
-- Mr. Chan

I just read at Terrence Chan's blog that he got a refund from UB. Could Dr. Pauly have had an effect this quickly? Where 2+2 lame asses failed did our savior and hero, boyfriend of Hollyweird starlets, the great and powerful Oz and his legion of blogging brethren finally force these scumbags to do something? Has anyone else gotten one of these refunds? Did anyone get a bill for winning from a super user? Very interesting times we live in.

MiamiDon is King

Cash is King Baby, like my boy MiamiDon has always told me. Was fun to see Iakaris rise from the ashes and donk his way deep in a BBT even. Too bad an even bigger donk fucked any chance he had at winning. I swear MTT players are people who are too undisciplined and inconsistent to win at real poker. All they do is hit their 25K score and then spend 24K trying to do it again before their money runs out. Fucking river bingo bastards. Let the flaming begin.

I actually had a good time in the Mookie last night. No big suckouts for or against. I basically had like four races. One time with AK s000ted all in vs 99.. I had the guy covered by 2x and he called off his entire stack on a coin flip with the blinds low. Second race was 27o vs KJ. I actually called all in here. I was getting short and it is the hammer baby. Took out someone there with two pair. I then had some chips and lost a race when I put someone all in TT vs AJ for all his chips. This call was marginally better than the first one only because the blinds were getting high and I agreed that he needed chips. Finally I went out against said flying cherub mentioned earlier with T9 vs 55 with a smallish stack. I could have been more patient and waited for a better hand but I wanted to fuck around with Cmitch and I was fine with how it went down either way. The flop was a great 77Q for me.. so the Ickster had to dodge like 15 outs 2x over.. but that fucker is luckier than Don's whore on lortab day.

Speaking of whores Don offered to introduce me to his friend but I do not think I will ever be able to get the image of his spew all over her face out of my mind. Thanks Bro but you have ruined her for me. Sort of like wolves pissing in the woods to mark their territory.

I traded a fifty to my buddy on PokerStars. Someday maybe Gordogg will fucking post again. I decided to play a $22 SNG since the fifty is pretty much going to be throwaway. First hand of the SNG I get Queens. It is raised pre-flop and two retards call. Flop comes two diamonds all low baby. I have a diamond even. I get jammed all in by A9 diamonds and he spikes the nut on the turn. Fucking retards.

I then played some Stud with mixed results. At one point I was way up but then gave it back on hands like SF draw vs a pair of twos that called every bet including the river unimproved. *I had a read on you*. Yeah, your read was, "I am a retarded loser I want to donate to you". Fucking moron. I think these games are really juicy but I am uncertain as to how well 1 buyin is going to do. I can NOT STAND lower levels than 1/2 because I end up getting 9 monkeys to a flop which reduces my odds unless I have a super monster hand. I actually misplayed several hands while giving my profit back. I will probably hit Pokerstars Stud a little while playing Riverchasers and see if I can get anything going. I used to be a ballah at the $22 SNGs but I am so under rolled for anything there that I am not very excited to play.

Full Tilt continues to treat me aight. Last night was pretty break even. I took second in an SNG to pretty much break even or make a small profit for the night. I am really excited thought because the roll is going in the right direction and my head is on straight. I really think my recovery is real and my 12-step LA(tm) program is working well.

Tonight of course is the Riverfuckers. We are down to the last two games of the BBT3. I for one am looking forward to the end. I will still play the Riverfuckers and Mookie on alternating weeks probably.. possibly a skillz throw in here and there but I am really cutting down on my MTT play for now. Once I have Fuel like online cash then I might revisit the golden lottery ticket. Until then have fun peeps.

Screwed Again

Another MTT another ass fucking till it bleeds. I stay patient and do not blow my wad all game.. get the ole pocko rockos and get my opponent all in on a Txx flop. Amazing how well I play. Of course the river is a ten to end any hopes of cashing in the skillz. At least I went out early.

I then did what works and that is hitting the tables. Up a buyin in less than an hour. Log out and call it a good night. Ahh it is so refreshing being a winning player. Can you smell that money.. I feel it coming..

Now all I need to figure out is how to get it off Full Tilt.

I am Lazy

Dr Pauly said to post this. I am too lazy to type anything of my own so i copied it word for word. From the doctor. Even his copywrite. Because I am lazy. I have not read enough about the UB cheating scandal to comment but I will read up some more. Mostly I have not paid much attention because I never played on either site. Probably a bad attitude. I have no idea how much of this is fact or fiction but the guys at 2+2 while assholes do know their poker and are very good at uncovering these things.

One thing I have always wondered is why build in a "god mode" for your poker software at all? I mean what possible reason is there to be able to see cards at a table? It can only lead to mischief. If you need to review a hand you can do so after the fact with the logfiles. No poker software should have this option. Does anyone know if the other big sites have this option? Full Tilt? Bodog? Pokerstars? If so why and in light of the recent scandals why not remove the option? As a programmer I find this a n even more fascinating question.

UB Cheating Scandal: Notes from the Underground

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

Shamus mentioned that I should post this important message on my blog and now, I'm suggesting that you do the same.

If you play online poker (especially if you are one of the blind fools still playing on UB), it's in everyone's best interest to spread the word on this important thread...

Superusers and Silence: How UltimateBet let players get cheated for millions by Steven Ware & Cornell Fiji (2+2)

Here's a sample:

I believe that it is important for online poker players to know about the unethical business practices of UltimateBet and Absolute Poker. It is also imperative to understand that these unscrupulous activities are not an indictment on the entire online poker industry. As you read this thread please keep in mind that UltimateBet and Absolute Poker are owned by the same company. They are also regulated by the same puppet regulatory commission. Most poker sites are run with the utmost integrity and security. UltimateBet and Absolute Poker are the exception and not the rule.

I urge the concerned reader to pass word of this summary on to other interested parties. The spread of this information will ultimately protect poker players from unknowingly exposing themselves to the corruption detailed below...

The players on UltimateBet were victims of a serious crime: grand larceny facilitated by a company that operates virtually outside the law. I hope that the efforts spent investigating and publicizing this story will help the victims of these crimes find restitution. I hope that this story will also highlight the need for independent regulation in the online poker industry.

Please use this thread to discuss the the best way to convince UltimateBet to come clean about their involvement in this theft and to provide restitution for these crimes. Please also use this thread to discuss the best ways to ensure that a scandal such as this one does not taint the game of poker occur ever again.... More

And if you don't have a blog, email the thread to all of your poker friends.

I know that I definitely pissed off several industry insiders by bringing attention to this morbid atrocity in the poker world, but I had to say something since a lot of major media players are avoiding it or they are simply too busy prepping for the WSOP to shine the light on another cheating scandal.

The truth is out there. Trust no one.


Original content written and provided by Pauly from Tao of Poker at www.taopoker.com. All rights reserved. RSS feeds are for non-commercial use only.

Stupid MTT

I am getting really fucking sick of MTTs. I play great the whole game and am in position to possibly win. I played something like 12% of my hands or less. Meaning I was tight and only showed down good hands. SO I raise Jeciimd blind and he jams A4. What fucking retard jams A4? Even saying you are ahead of say A2 or A3 what the fuck? I can see if I was a super lagtard like.. ohhh .. jeciimd.. but even if I have KQ your racing for your whole stack with a fucking A4. Jesus. Fucking retards always get paid off. I am really enjoying cash games a lot more than this bullshit bingo crap. Fucker will probably win. Fucking three outs pre-flop is enough for retarded tourists. God I am mad. I can not even play now.

Dumb bastard is the worst tight type player ever. He will play tight but he will wildly overplay shit hands all the time. Of course he gets fucking paid. I sort of thought I was doomed when he floppped a flush draw. I dodged that and he rivers a straight. Even a fucking 1.25 SNG player fucking folds A4. Man this sucks. Very disappointing.

Hello My Name is Waffles

Hello my name is Waffles and I am a recovering loser.

I know you come to the blog to hear about my wild blowout of huge, medium and small bankrolls. I try to indulge you as much as I can. I really do love you all.. you enablers of mediocrity.. you lovers of train wrecks.. you really are my people. I have been a loser for four years. We are talking poker here let's just keep it professional. Sure I am mostly break even since people give me free money to enable my losing. This is day 37 of my recovery. I have been winning for these few days. I will not say it is always easy. I often times tell eleven dollar SNG players I hope they die. Mostly only when they call my all in with pockets two's against my queens on a 678 board and turn a two. However this is the path to my losing addiction. I currently have a good small bankroll which I am grinding upward. It sits at 900 at the moment and hopefully will continue to grow as I attend my Stud meetings and SNG recovery programs.

I do miss you all. I know I am neglecting my old friends but sometimes you have to leave the old life behind in order to have success in your recovery. Possibly when I have been in recovery longer I can come back and hang out with you. Until then I wish you all well. Until then I know you will all be praying that I fall off the wagon.

Now for a Message from Evil Waffles

Dealer: barky11 has 15 seconds left to act
Dealer: SirFWALGMan shows [Jh Kd]
Dealer: barky11 shows [Kc 3h]
Dealer: SirFWALGMan shows two pair, Kings and
Sevens
Dealer: barky11 shows two pair, Kings and
Sevens
Dealer: barky11 ties for the pot (10,030) with
two pair, Kings and Sevens
Dealer: SirFWALGMan ties for the pot (10,030) with
two pair, Kings and Sevens
Dealer: Hand #6514283764

*** First Donkey Number on calls a pre-flop raise dominated K3 vs KJ then the motherfucker calls the Kxx board all in on the flop for most of his chips and runer-runner a tie.

SirFWALGMan: man
SirFWALGMan: that sucked lol
Dealer: sweatinitout wins the pot (5,200)
Dealer: Hand #6514289463
Dealer: SirFWALGMan shows [2s As]
Dealer: sweatinitout shows [Th Kh]
Dealer: SirFWALGMan shows Ace King high
Dealer: sweatinitout shows two pair, Kings and
Tens
Dealer: sweatinitout wins the pot (20,060) with
two pair, Kings and Tens
Dealer: SirFWALGMan finishes in 4th place and
wins: $45
Dealer: Hand #6514294635

*** Next This idiot calls my all in jam with KT for 86% of his stack. Stupid motherfucker is behind and flops a fucking KT. How the fuck can you play these things if nobody ever folds. I end up in 4th place for baby money instead of 3rd or better for a nice little score. Combined with my nice exit from the Mookie 222 vs 666. Ug. Fucking FTOPS idiot moron. heh. Nah he was just lucky but he played great. Anyways.. it triggered this nice exchange..

SirFWALGMan (Observer): and the idiot gets paid
off
SirFWALGMan (Observer): riddiculous
SirFWALGMan (Observer): mron
Dealer: Hand #6514296762
SirFWALGMan (Observer): moron
SirFWALGMan (Observer): idiot
SirFWALGMan (Observer): azzhole
SirFWALGMan (Observer): @@&%er
Dealer: barky11 wins the pot (800)
Dealer: Hand #6514298820
SirFWALGMan (Observer): scumbag
Dealer: sweatinitout has 15 seconds left to act
System: The $11,000 Guarantee (Rebuy)
($20+$2 NL Hold'em) will be starting in 4
minutes.
SirFWALGMan (Observer): everytime some idiot
gets luckier than hell moron
Dealer: barky11 has 15 seconds left to act
SirFWALGMan (Observer): hope your $$!% falls off

Of course I am up 30 bucks for the night so I do not know why I am complaining. Ahh fuck it. That was a sick beat. Glad I am a cash specialist now.

Inspired By Katitude

She is very inspirational. I followed her creative process and decided to do my own logo for Live Poker Radio. I took into account Buddy Dank and IT and the show in general and came up with this great concept logo that I think captures the essence of the show.

Sweet Night

I had one of the best nights ever playing cash. Not in terms of money won but in terms of buyins. I could not be stopped. Initially it started off slow with me losing a buyin in Stud. I then switched to HORSE and in my worst game O8 I took two HUGE posts with the nuts. I then destroyed people in Stud so bad that the table broke with me up 3 buyins. At the same time I had a NLHE table open. I figured I would donate some. Instead I end up 2 BUYINS! Holy shit. I really never do this well. I then asked Pushmonkey whats next. LHE! Ok. Sweet. Up over a buyin there and then it was time for the MATH. I flamed out early and went back to cash where I took a buyin and a half in Stud. So all in all a very nice night. Broke back over the 500 point and hopefully I can ride the surge tonight and really take a jump towards that 1K mark. Why the fuck not right? Tonights NLO(8?) game should be funny as hell. I bet I could fold to second. Hopefully this ends up as quick as I think it will. See you all tonight.

I need a change

[18:38] SirFWALGMan: I suck this month
[18:38] SirFWALGMan: what the fuck is up with that
[18:38] Mookie: lol
[18:38] Mookie: play better :)
[18:38] SirFWALGMan: I dont know what that means
[18:38] Mookie: hahaha

My Baby Girl is Growing Up

My little girl.. *sniff*.. just hit a milestone.. *Sniff*.. She.. she.. rode her bike without training wheels. WAHHHHHH! They grow up so fast. Pretty soon she is going to be crying when I tell her she can not date until she is 99. My little four year old. *sigh*.

My nine year old son just finished his first MCAST tests. You know those retarded tests they give kids to tell if they have enough basic information to pass the grade. So the teachers dumb down the entire curriculum to focus on passing the MCAST and everyone is stupider for it. I think he did pretty well. We shall see. The boy is an enigma like his dad. If he is not interested in a subject you can talk until your head falls off and he will not do well.. but if he likes the material he will attack it like a vicious bulldog and get straight A's without much effort. Of course this kind of thing is frowned upon in our society until you actually work for a living. You can then look back at your idiotic fifth grade teacher who gave you an F and say "Damn bitch you would make more working at McDonalds.. Fuck you.. check me out!!". Until then it will be rough for him.

Still have to get that damn exercise elliptical thing. Going on month five. I suck. I am concerned though. It seems like people who make pants these days are retarded. They design them to show your underwear like some retarded ghetto kid. Flaring hip design or something I dunno. It works horribly for me since I am totally fat in the middle but skinny everywhere else for the most part. So I can not find a pair of pants I can run in and not feel like I am going to be naked soon. Yeahhhh baby! That is gonna hurt your brain for a while.

Poker is poker. It is the same ole thing. I am patiently waiting for that jump that gets me to the next cash level but currently am wallowing at the 400-500 level. With jumps as low as 340 and as high as 540. The fluctuation's in bankroll are what drive me crazy and while I have seen some Evil Waffles comments lately I have been holding it together pretty well. I am not sure if I will ever get to the point where Poker does not bother me but I think I am making some progress.

I did have a nice Stud session last night. Second hand I am dealt rolled up fours**. My next two cards are AA. I slow play it through 5th street getting 3-5 callers for every bet. I then end up getting it capped on 6th and 7th street three ways. It does not get any better in Stud than that. I ended up taking down a nice 28BB pot. The table then broke and I left with my profit intact.

I also played a SNG where I 2-outted people twice and just hit every hand like crazy. I ended up with like 10K in chips.. and I still only took second. I just could not put it away HU. Oh well. Shit happens. The SNG trail has been pretty streaky but overall I am starting to show some profit.

I think tonight will be mostly Monday at the Hoy. My May has sucked in the BBT3 and I HAVE to turn it around this week or I can say goodbye to a second seat. I feel good about tonight. Good luck to you all.

** For those of you who are not smart and beautiful like CK rolled up fours are 444 starting hand in Stud. Loved her Waffle comment also. Not sure if it was intentional or not.

Beautiful

I saw the most beautiful woman a couple of days ago.. She had a night smoking hot body.. her pants formed around her lovely ass and made a V between her legs.. and I swear the V formed a mouth and it started talking to me.. It told me how she wanted to get down on all fours and angle that cute ass up in the air.. and just beg for me to come in and take her with all I have.. to make her mine.. It wanted me to fuck her hard as she howled at the moon like the she bitch she was.. really.. I know this is hard to believe.. but that is my story and I am sticking with it... I am still hard four days later.

Love Elf An Uber Super Duper Genius

The beautiful and extremely smart (like Einstein yo but sexy!) Love Elf has posted her latest grades. She is a straight A student as expected. Everyone go by and give her a great big pat on the back.

As far as her mom idea fuck that. My mom was not horrible.. but we are not close at all. I think I have mentioned before that she let an ear infection go so bad that I became deaf in one ear. So not the most attentive mother I suppose. Sometimes I think that it would be awesome to have had good relationships with either parent. I hear the nice stories from the Elf and others.. but it just is not there and I can not make it up. Mom is still around and I do the obligatory Turkey Day, Xmas visits but that is about it. I also think she is a total jerk to my kids. She treats my fucked up sisters kid much better. Ah well. This is life. The retarded wheel gets the grease as they say and man is my sister squeaky.

I played me

I was hitting the LHE table last night for the hell of it and ran into myself. It was pretty interesting. I was in a foul mood anyways since my KKK got beaten by AAA.. happens.. and I am on a small downswing.. So I sit at this table and this guy just berates the hell out of everyones play. When he raises his AJ s00ted and catches runner-runner flush against two pair it is alright.. or when he calls pre-flop raises with KJ against AK it is fine.. but everyone else is horrible and he is fucking their mothers and sisters while he plays which explains his great play. It was ME! It was Waffles at the table. So I called him a Nimrod and told him to STFU. It was pretty funny. Unfortunately I was unable to stack him as he sat with his whole $900 bankroll and bragged about it all night. Retard. He lives in his mommies basement loft also which really made me think he was a winner. Anyway it was a refreshing look at what I am striving against (some days more successfully than others).. Tonight is the Riverfuckers. Should be fun.

Bloggerment Poll

Q: Which blogger has sucked out on you the most lifetime.

A. Bayne
B. LJ
C. Surflexus
D. Sucko
E. 23Skiddoo
F. PushMonkey
G. Other

Please feel free to mention any particularly brutal beats said person has put on you that you wish recorded for posterity sake.

Sexcapades of Waffles

Since I have no bad beat stories to write I thought I would share some more of my past life with you. When I was a young man in my teens I met a lovely woman named Vanessa. She was a fiery red she devil and I really liked her. I met her through a bible study group. Excellent place to get laid by the way. If you are looking to hook up hit it. We spent a while dating and playing basketball together. She was a huge tomboy with gigantic tits and was a blast to hang out with.

Finally the night came when I could get lucky. I was still a virgin at 18 and had yet to find my stride. So she sets up this nice little candle deal next to her mattress. She takes off her shirt and bra and commands me to start sucking those mammoths. In true Waffles style I suddenly got a case of the super giggles and could not stop laughing. Hint to those inexperienced people out there: this is NOT the right thing to do. Anyhow this would NOT be the day I lost my virginity. I suppose I was just too nervous to pull it together. I can not really fathom any other reason for hysterical giggling here. It would be three more years before I had my next shot at not being a virgin. I really need to final table the WSOP and spend the in between months at one of the ranches. If you know what I mean. Peace out.

If you are not..

If you are not reading CarmenSinCity and her writeup about some psycho she dated years ago you should it is really good stuff even if it is hard to read.

Her boyfriend actually reminds me of my wifes ex-boyfriend a little bit. He never was abusive like Carmen's boyfriend but I had an interesting interaction with him. I was down visiting her parents house. Now her parents loved this guy and thought she should marry him instead of some jew bag like me. Anyway we were visiting and her parents invite him over. He asks me if I will take a ride with him in his truck and I am like sure why not. So we are driving along and he pulls out a magnum and shows it to me. Starts telling me about his gun and all this shit. He obviously did not know you can not intimidate an insane person. However it was a pretty interesting experience.

The wife hated his creepy stalking personality so when she moved she had all her phone numbers made private and did not tell him anything about where she went. Who knows where he is today probably stalking some new chick or living in his mommas basement like he was before.

Evy My Love Thank You

I was going to write about how Bayne sucked out on me after jamming all his chips in on the turn with 12 outs. Bayne was happy getting his money in as a 27% dog but whatever. Instead I will talk about how my darling Evy knocked him out and how we both made the same amount of money except I wasted less time. Bayne did try to excuse his bad play by saying he was "representing" the straight. Um. Ya right. I did not buy that for a second. Oh well.

Tonight actually turned out pretty good as I destroyed some SNGs and brought my roll back up to just shy of 500 again. I could have capped 500 tonight but with four left I overplayed 17 outs or so against TPTK. Oh well. What can you do. I could have scored a bunch more times if my AQ held up against A9 and the like.. but of course I could have lost a few more if my A4 lost against AK and my TPTK lost against two pair instead of sucking out trips.

So that is the essence of poker. I promise more sexcapades tomorrow. Cya then.

Anti-Ad's for Astin

I was walking down the street today and passed one of those old people death homes. You know what I am talking about. The place you put people who are old so you do not have to deal with them. I walk by and these old ladies come out and start walking towards me. It was like a scene out of Dawn of the Dead. I figured some of the handlers were walking the old people and was not overly concerned until they got near me. Suddenly this old woman has her tongue in my mouth and her dentures fall in.. while this old woman in a wheel chair is trying to unzip my fly with her arthritic hands. Now I am pretty sure old chicks are on my will not do list.. so I pulled away, spit the old gals dentures out, and ran for a few blocks until I finally escaped. Luckily none of them had motorized wheel chairs or I would have been doomed. I tried to figure out what the hell just happened and then remembered I bought some new Axe deodorant this weekend. Be careful people that stuff is dangerous.

I also tried some Coke-Zero. I can not decide if I like this stuff or not. They really named it well as it seems to have almost zero taste but yet I can not decide if I like it or not. Very confusing. At least it does not have the aftertaste of diet coke. Will keep you posted.

This weekend was a downswing on the poker front. I was pretty bummed out. I took a nice 140 swing down. Ick. No tilty sessions or anything just kept losing at the stake I am playing. However I realize this is normal and not a concern. I did lose my serene nice Waffle field a lot this weekend and threw out a few moron and idiot comments. I need to work on that a little. I am sure I will hit a nice hot spot again and win a bunch of cash. It is just how poker works. This morning I jumped on a quickie 6-max SNG and took first to win around forty bucks. Hopefully we can keep this going.

Tonight is Monday at the Hoy! I am going to try and take this bitch down. I really need to start making some points in May if I am going to have any chance at a second seat. Loretta is really running hot and I can not let him get too much of a lead. At least Bayne is still running cold and my victory against him will be assured if he can not win a seat to the TOC. Still some time to go.

Where the fuck are my May Flowers?

Man I need some motivation to kick it up a notch in May. I called out Loretta to start the motivational fluids rocking.

I am coming for you! Your donkery must be stopped in May as it was in April! The BOOM will be silenced! heh. Nice chop bwt. Loretta* bah.

Fucking everyone is chopping TOC seats in this goddamn game. What the fuck every happened to pride and being a real winner. I bet someone who got handed a seat will win the TOC. I have decided to revoke my friend exemption to seats and anyone who wants a TOC seat with me HU will have to fucking earn it. Old fashion baby.

I wanna show Johnny Tuscaloosa that I am the man and he is just a shriveled old fart. I actually like John a lot and think he is a decent player. I need to fucking dominate though. It is in my blood.

Working till 1AM does not help my chances though. It is still early in May so I still can ramp it up and take another 2K seat and remove some TOC entries from the final game. GOOO WAFFLES!

Tonight I am going to hit the juicy HORSE and STUD tables. The weekends are the best. The past two days have sucked and I need to get some revenge baby.

Inspired By Katitude

I am grateful for..

1. The crippled dwarf in the wheelchair I saw yesterday. Kind of hard to feel fucked up when some little nub of meat wheels past you. Fuck I am going to hell.
2. Finite life. At least it will end some day. YAY!
3. Katitude. I need someone to take over the Waffles trade mark some day. I think she is well on her way. Just need to drive her insane for a few more years and she will be there.
4. Google. Fuck I love you. You make me look brilliant when the DBA can not figure out why the data run is not working and I type a few words into your beautiful search box and walla a genius reply is returned.
5. Wind. I like the wind. Yeah. It's windy.

Fuck that was hard. Now I have to go to therapy and figure out if I am a total ingrate or my life sucks and I need more therapy. Ah well. Peace out.

What the fuck

What the fuck is a twitter and why would I want one? I have no idea but I decided since I have not been updating the video of my play I would hook up a little twitter section on the web page. Right now it is pretty lame. I am at work. Der. I hope to have some of the following types of things soon..

"Out of the Mookie AA vs 93o. fuck you Bam bam! 2 Hours ago"
"AKT vs AKQ in Stud. Bet Every Street. fucker wins with AKQ high? WTF! 3 Hours Ago"

Anyway it may end up being a stupid idea but what the hell I am all for experimenting with new technology to bring the Waffles Experience to you in whole new ways. Does not sound as cool as the AlCantHang Experience. Ah well. See you all tonight.

Moookie Stupid Cash Good

I went out of the Mookie early when I decided to race my AK against what I knew to be a pair. The peep turned up QQ and I never improved. On the good side I went and played cash games and increased the bankroll over 30%.. WOOT! Tonight we play the Riverchasers.

Tilt Time Killers

So lets say your an idiot and locked yourself out of your account and the next day when you tried to get in they told you to call GA. Ok. So what can you do while waiting to get back on or waiting for your tenth deposit of the month to clear.

World of Warcraft. I played this and it was great. I made it to level 70.. and then I got really bored of the game. Unless you have a bunch of friends playing that will raid with you and not be assholes the game sucks. Nothing new to do as a 70. Blah. Go farm a zillion gold for three weeks so you can buy a mount. No thanks. Unless your like that chick who sold her body for gold your SOL.

So I have been exploring some of the other MMORPGS in my spare time.

I tried to download Guild Wars. It is a free game. Free is good. You have to actually buy the software but no monthly fees. They have a free trial online which I downloaded but could not get it to run on Vista. I need a new machine. Apparently you also need an access key which I also could not find. Too much work.

So next up I figure I would try some nice Ultima Online. Same deal with a 14-day trial. I was unable to install this on Vista either. My nerdy elf girl loving self is getting pissed at this point.

Finally I was able to get Lord of the Rings 14-day trial up and running. I sorta like this one. The graphics are not as good as Warcraft. There really is no PVP element in the actual world. The storyline is pretty linear so far. Possibly to keep you moving and get you used to the game. It is alright but I have not really seen anything that has made me say "WICKED COOL!".

Next up on the list of Nerd Trials is going to be Star Wars online. I will download the 14-day trial this week and see if it is any good. So this probably is not helpful but good luck to anyone who wants a little nerdy fun.

Razz is Fucked Up

Man is that game frustrating. I start off nearly insane because of the dumb ass game and less than optimal calls.. and I end up stacking off to Mondogarage two hands in a row where I go runner-runner-runner BOAT. I was fairly far ahead in both hands at least as far ahead as you can get in Razz. Ah well. So sick when you lose to a Jack when you have a 3456 on 4th street. I certainly did not take it well and appologize to Mondo for any outbursts. I was really angrier with the cards than the person. His plays were not horrible albeit a little loose. At least I got to take out LJ! A few points in May do not hurt either.

On the good side I was incredibly amazed and heartened by the fact that not a single person went out before the first break. Stunning that nobody donked out of the Skillz game. I clap for you all. Perhaps there is hope.

I played a little Lord of the Rings online last night. So far the game is ok but not anything special. I may stop playing that and try the Star Wars Online game. See how that one is.

Tonight is the Mookie.. If you have not seen sexy BWOP golfing pictures you should go. Don's drunken beer belly not so much. Good luck to you all.

Down Night

Decided to call it a night after losing two buys. No big deal. Anyway. I have a question for you all. Justin Bonomo AKA Big Fucking Cheater signed with Bodog. I guess my multi-part question is how do you feel about this and should Bodog want to associate it's good name with a cheat? I have mixed feelings. I mean one the one hand there is something for forgiveness and letting someone get on with their lives. On the other hand he is a cheat and was not too convincing when he apologized. I really think Bodog could have done a better job picking a spokesperson for their site. Especially in light of the recent scandals at Absolute and UB. I would want to stay as far away from any hint of inpropriaty as possible. Just my thoughts.

Oh and Katitude. You GO GIRL! I wanna hear good things in the morning. Like my favorite biker babe won a TOC seat. That would rock.

Blatant Homosexual Pimpage

** CLICK THE LINK ABOVE TO GO TO BUDDY DINK RADIO YO HOMEZ IT IS EAZY

Chop Chop Baby

First of all I have been reading a lot about how winning multiple seats helps everyone else have better odds in the TOC. I for one disagree. You still have to beat me. So your odds are really bad. Nothing will improve them for you. Quit trying.

As far as if I would chop. It all depends. If someone I considered a friend really wanted a chop then I would do it. I think the people in this group for the most part are more important than a stupid seat in the TOC. I know most people would not EXPECT me to give them a seat HU but if it was someone I knew I would have no problem doing just that. If it was someone I hardly knew on the other hand I would probably not chop just for the money. Like Lucko and others have said that extra seat is worth more than any first place money in all of the tourneys except the Big Game. So pretend to be my friend like Choad, and you too could get a TOC seat.

Secondly I have been reconsidering my decision last night. I figured if I went out to Vegas for that 2K seat it would cost me money. I would have to take off work and all this other stuff because the games would last a bunch of days. However I can fly out on Thursday Night pretty cheap. Play a Saturday afternoon game and get back to Boston for Monday. Easy peasy. So I have decided that even if I do not win a ME seat I will be playing in the World Series with my 2K seat. Here are the events I am considering.

13 Saturday, June 7, 2008 12 Noon No Limit Hold'em $2,500
27 Saturday, June 14, 2008 12 Noon No Limit Hold'em $1,500
39 Saturday, June 21, 2008 12 Noon No Limit Hold'em $1,500
9 Saturday, June 28, 2008 12 Noon No-Limit Hold'em $1,500

Please make any suggestions. I will also probably sell a part of me but my backer already owns 55%, so that leave a 45% slice to sell. I will probably wait to see if I win a Main Event seat and then have people buy 1% slices of both events or something like that. I will say that my live experience is slim. The few live tourneys I have played I have finished well. Although I think I am probably dead money in these. We shall see.

I am going to discuss playing in the smaller event with the wife tonight. Possibly fun blog post tomorrow but I am pretty sure she will be all for the idea. See you all tonight at Riverchasers. I hope to start off May with a BANG and a ROOOARR!